Well, they now say that Bill Clinton is in the Hospital, awaiting a triple-bypass procedure.  But did you hear about Hillary's I-told-you-so?   She said to Bill, "You never listen.  Didn't I tell you that you should have a heart removal operation like I did?"

I don't know if you've heard, but a modern version of the Kama Sutra has been written.  Yes, it's titled My Life and was written by Bill Clinton . . .

Speaking of Bill Clinton, there just was a ceremony at the White House at which they unveiled his portrait.  Well, something occurred to me.  If the picture proceeds to get older and uglier every day but Slick Willie remains the same, we'll finally know the secret of his success . . .

It occurred to me that President Bush is in a no-win situation with respect to Iraq.  This is is because one way or the other there will eventually be another terrorist attack.  So what it comes down to is that if the President takes military action, when a strike occurs people will say that if he hadn't done anything it wouldn't have happened.  If he does nothing, however, then when a strike occurs people will say he should have done something.  You might say he's stuck between Iraq and a hard place . . .      

Did you hear about what the territorial frog did in his corner of the pond?  He enforced a no-fly zone . . .

Did you ever think about the fact that carrier pigeons fly in-formation? 

What did the bloodhound say to the group of angry foxes when he came upon them during a foxhunt?  D-d-don't blame me...I was just following odors . . .

You know the world is in bad shape when the only thing that isn't becoming more nuclear is the family.

Ted Kennedy is like an expensive car -- he took office fully equipped.  For sure, he came to the Senate fully loaded . . .

Some say that Christianity is just another myth; they say it is no different than any other religion.  If so, why have I never heard anyone say, "I was down and out, but then I found Buddha."

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